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20 brand-new names for 20 classic travel scenarios.
1. Obliment – To forget something and instantly regret it, especially an item. “It was only after I checked out of my hotel and boarded my airplane that I oblimented leaving my phone charger in the electrical socket next to my bed.” (v; origin: Latin, Spanish)
2. Cosuetimpede – “Awkward intimacy.” As in, “Embracing the torso of my Indian friend as we speed through New Delhi on his scooter is totally cosuetimpede. Only when I’m faced with impending death can I touch another dude like that.” (n/adj; origin: Greek)
3. Mukakka – To look for a comfortable place to shit. “Typically, it’s advisable to mukakka while camping along the Appalachian Trail by asking fellow hikers where the least-sketchy poo-ditches are located.” (v; origin: Finnish)
4. Civinderlich – “Politely disgusted.” As in, “My host family in the Czech Republic offered me some Olomouc cheese. I couldn’t help but feel civinderlich as I chewed what tasted like a dirty diaper smells. But I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, so I took another slice. The second was even more foul.” (adj; origin: German)
5. Kantpisnau – That awkward moment when you really need to pee, but feel weird about it. “Kantpisnau set in as the masseuse began kneading deeply into my lower back. Why did I decide to drink so many margaritas at the swim-up pool bar before my massage on the beach?!” (n; origin: German)
6. Paszesex – Of or related to the feeling of being totally unattractive to locals. “I tried hooking up with seven different Englishmen at the same bar within an hour of each other. Turns out I was at a gay club, but I still felt paszesex.” (adj; origin: French)
7. Beatigen – A drink received from a gypsy. “I’ve gotten my fair share of beatigens around the world, but it’s beatifaradintis that brings you the best luck.” Beatifaradinti is a drink received from a toothless gypsy. (n; origin: Romanian)
8. Linguosimulate – To pretend you speak the local language when you totally can’t. “When I get drunk, I linguosimulate and break out the French I learned in high school. S’il vous plais, j’aime les pomplemousse.” (v; origin: Latin)
9. Faciemserpus – The intense emotion you experience after social-media-stalking that sexy guy/girl you had a romantic tryst with on your study abroad trip. “It’s hard to overcome facieumserpus when Juan Carlos keeps posting shirtless selfies on Instagram. I don’t even care that he’s in a relationship on Facebook with Rosanna, I scrolled through her photos and she’s a total venalis (see below).” (n; origin: Latin)
10. Venalis – “Beauty hag.” A woman you’ve met abroad who is totally gorgeous and perfect and you hate yourself because of it (see above). (n; origin: Latin)
11. Deochbòrd — To wake up and find you were sleeping under a table, after having been drunk under the table by locals. “It was four o’clock in the morning when I deochbòrded in the back room of the bar. Damn those Germans and their drinking games.” (v; origin: Gaelic)
12. Teleguresverdomiddelen – “To be disappointed in the drugs.” As in, “I was totally teleguresverdomiddelened when the Space Cakes I bought in Amsterdam left me completely sober while the rest of my friends tripped balls on Damrak Streeet.” (v; origin: Dutch)
13. Gravruptus – The moment of bitterness and reluctance you experience when you have to hand over a bribe to a checkpoint guard, but can’t physically show it because you’ll probably get shot for looking pissed off. “The worst part about driving through Mali was the gravruptus I had to deal with. I hate giving away money to heavily armed bandits, but I guess it’s better than getting a face full of lead.” (n; origin: Latin)
14. Tikansivi – The act of spending six hours on the toilet after stuffing yourself with local delicacies. “Sitting on a pile of pillows eating hummus and fetir in a Bedouin tent is only satisfying when you’re not anticipating the amount of tikansivi that will soon erupt. Better mukakka before it’s too late.” (n; origin: Turkish)
15. Whyphydistant – The emotional breakdown experienced when you realize the nearest internet connection is 15 hours away from your village. “After three days living in a small Vietnamese village, the whyphydistant was so intense I began talking in 140-character-or-less phrases to emulate the Twitter account I did not have access to.” (n; origin: Internet)
16. Goldie-locked – When you find someone else sleeping in your hostel bed.
17. Three Bear’d – When you find two people doin’ it in your hostel bed.
18. Porridge’d – When you find two people were doin’ it in your hostel bed and have since found their own beds, but they left behind their used condoms.
19. Adibusoning – The act of smiling and nodding while someone in a foreign language speaks to you, and you have no idea what they are saying. “The little old ladies I met in a Beijing market were so enthusiastic that I had to adibuson But I was also adibusoning because they hadn’t given me my change yet.” (n/v; origin: Swahili)
20. Appetemoro – “Longing to stay.” The feeling you get looking out the window of your airplane as your flight departs for home. “The plane ascended into the air, and appetemoro swept over me. I didn’t know when I’d visit Chile again…all I could do was watch Santiago get smaller and smaller until it disappeared behind the clouds.” (n; origin: Greek)